He was telling me how in college, a buddy of his offered up his girlfriend for a threesome between them.
So they are getting down,….. but she’s clearly not into it. She obviously is doing the 3some thing just to please the boyfriend. My friend said getting head or a handjob from her had all the eroticism of ‘you’d imagine your mom giving it to you’. Ugh.
He said mid-handjob that he just quit. Said sorry but obviously this isn’t working, got his clothes and jetted. I cringed at the awkwardness and embarrassment that must have just hovered in the air there.
I can’t really imagine doing that to my significant other now. In my life, I learned pretty early on: if my partner didn’t want to do it, then I just dropped it.
I think that came from the first time I talked a high school girlfriend into doing anal. I begged her to do it, nagged the shit out of her (heh heh), and finally she agreed…. and it sucked. She was so clearly not into it and not enjoying it, it just took all the fun out of it for me.
I never blamed *her* for that, I blamed me. It was like, ‘Lesson learned: if she’s only doing it ‘for me’, then don’t.’ Total boner killer.
(So, yeah, anal has been crossed off the list many, many times through in life with my different partners. And I’m fine with that.)
I think that taught me, too, that if she’s really into it because *she* wants to do it or really likes to do it, then it’s going to be hot. When she’s genuninely turned on and really into doing whatever it is we’re doing, then that in turn is going to get me into it that much more.
And that includes her body in a general sense: if *she* loves her body, and honestly feels it is sexy, we’re probably going to have a really fun time in bed.
Take note of that, women: not being self-conscious about your body is a “huge, huge* turn on. If you are the type of woman who says, ‘Fuck it, it’s sex and it’s supposed to just be fun’, well…… hello, nurse!
And conversely, if you give off the vibe that you are unhappy with your body, ashamed of it, or simply uptight about it…. ugh…. boner killer.
It’s just sex. Yes, limits on what you will do or want to do are absolutely fine. But if you are generally uptight about sex or your body/your body’s appearance….. yeah… that just doesn’t do it for most men.